I want to be like the Buddha and start living

People that make new years resolutions have always gotten on my nerves. I might be one of those annoying people this year, something got me thinking yesterday.

I was reading the Total Jim’s updated profile last night and a sentence on there struck me: "The thing that I call living is just being satisfied with knowing I’ve got no one left to blame..."

I woke up today and started thinking about the meaning behind those words. It’s very common for us to blame others and justify our dysfunctional behavior because someone has held us back or treated us badly. The blame list can be endless; parents, friends, classmates, doctors, governments, partner, pets, the climate, the bank, etc. Anyway, my new years resolution is to get rid of all blame and become the person I was meant to be. It might sound cliché, but the truth is it’s what I want. Why let someone that pisses you off live in your head rent free? Also, why let someone that tries to hold you back affect your decisions in life?

Imagine if we could hold up a state of mind which the Buddha acquired; how different our waking up in the mornings would be. Yeah, I want to be like the Buddha and start living.

Blue Bird

by: Charles Bukowski

There's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say, stay in there, I'm not going
to let anybody see
you.

There's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I pour whiskey on him and inhale
cigarette smoke
and the whores and the bartenders
and the grocery clerks
never know that
he's in there.

There's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say,
stay down, do you want to mess me up?
You want to screw up the works?
You want to blow my book sales in Europe?

There's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too clever, I only let him out
at night sometimes
when everybody's asleep.
I say, I know that you're there,
so don't be
sad.

Then I put him back,
but he's singing a little
in there, I haven't quite let him
die,
and we sleep together like
that
with our
secret pact,
and it's nice enough to
make a man
weep, but I don't
weep, do
you?

In The Shadow of Feeling

A documentary film that explores the factors that determine how children become adult psychopaths. Very interesting points of view and how the development of the brain in early childhood might be a dominating cause.

The main story centers around a boy named "Johnathan" who is currently serving a life sentence for first degree murder.