I'm a big baby when I get sick

I ended up in the hospital in Iceland at 6:00 a.m. on saturday; those of you that are from Iceland can just imagine how the emergency room is at that time. I had a severe ear infection as a result of this flue I got and sat there amongst cut up people and angry drunks; one guy even had a huge bite mark on his scalp and the whole situatin was surrealistic. I was in so much pain and sat there crying like a big baby and I assume the doctors thought I was one of the drunks that had gotten into a bar fight that night. I eventually got some medical assistance after the Doctors finnished taking care of a stab victim; not kidding. The good news is that I'm still going to New York and my ear is getting better; I'm a big baby when I get sick and thank god I don't get this sick often.

I guess we can't choose our delusions

I've been sick all week and had to delay my trip to NY :-( I hate laying in bed for days and not doing anything except feel pain and tired, anyway I got delerious from a high fever and thought I was stuck to my sidewalk outside and my cat was trying to get me back into the house. It was so realistic and I kept thinking how did I end up outside, very strange indeed! Why a side walk though, why couldn't I have had a delusion that I was stuck in a cartoon or something? I guess we can't choose our delusions ?

Feeling Guilty for Laying Around Like a Cat

I love this blog in here, I can write anything that comes to mind and most people don't read this anyway; so I can get verbally evil and not feel bad about it.So I have this insane urge to express myself about so many things; I've basically been working like a maniac all day and didn't even have time for lunch or anything. But what surprises me when I'm busy like that is that I start thinking about stuff from my childhood and I start to connect it with the person that I am today; those of you that have grown up in a dysfunctional home know what I'm talking about. I've had enough therapy through the years to forgive my past and let go of my anger, but today I'm starting to connect my workaholic compulsive behavior with so many uncertainties in my youth. When I go through the day at a 100 mph I feel like I will never fall or need someones help; I feel like I'm in control and can do anything I set my mind to! What is really scaring me though is that I'm going on vacation and I must relax, the last time I did that I ended up sleeping, reading, and in between feeling guilty for laying around like a cat. Yes the mind can be funny; it's a no win situation, the guilt for not working and the guilt for working too much!One more day to go and then I must lay around like my cats; sleep, eat, chase some flies and read some good books :-)