Mourning my country

The situation here in Iceland has become surreal. My friend from youth is a news reported and has covered the situation very well on the news channels. The average family can't make ends meet. If they live a normal life they are still going to get in to 1 million kronar dept ( around $1,800) each year. When I say average family I'm talking about people that don't have unusual loans and both are working in a job with a good income, around 1/2 million kronurs a month. When I saw her report the other day I thought, "Okay, so the average family is starting to suffer too!"

What makes this so sad is that the government is not doing a thing. People keep going under; some slowly others rapidly. Will they end up owning all of our homes? Offering our children a bleak future? Keep cutting down in medical care? Only offering assistance to people that are already bankrupt?

I feel like I don't have a country anymore. My Government doesn't care about us....They only care about a political agenda and saving face to the outside World? Are we experiencing the death of our young nation because of money hungry politicians?

Dream 032310

I had such a touching and spiritual dream last night. I was watching the sun set with my sister Nina and her daughter. The reflection in the water showed the most beautiful yellow and blue skies; but the real sky was flaming red with almost dark brown colors in it. We were at peace with each other in the dream and the colors made us feel united.

Then I was in a warm setting with my sister Nina, Anna and another sister I couldn't sense or see. We were happy and hugging each other.

I assume this dream is connected to the volcanic eruptions going on here in Iceland but symbolically it is very beautiful.

Rambling 020510

My thoughts about love might sound a bit extreme but I've always been a bit extreme. Here it goes....

1. Saying I love you doesn't mean much in the long run. My step-dad always told me that people that do a lot of talking usually don't do much action when it comes down to it. So why do men think that saying I love you is supposed to make us melt inside? I find it much more appealing when people show their love through action.

2. A man that I was dating recently insinuated that there was something wrong with me because I've chosen to be single most of my adult life? I pointed out to him that I enjoy my own company and would rather be alone than living with a man I can't stand. Society seems to pound into women's heads that there is something wrong with them if they're single. We're not complete unless we have a man by our side? So far, this incomplete woman is doing fine ;-)

3. Being honest about sex is taboo. Okay, do you want to be doing something for someone and finding out later that they got no pleasure from it? I think honesty is a way to connect with people. We all have different experiences in life and can teach each other so much. Where would we be if we weren't willing to learn and try something new?

4. Even if I'm in love doesn't mean I'm willing to sacrifice my self-being and respect. Come on, does anyone still believe in those romance novels and the stereo typical thought of "Stand by your man". If you hit me or abuse me in anyway I will most likely lose interest in you because you have crossed a boundary which there is no way of erasing or turning back. Because I leave you doesn't mean I didn't love you, it means that I also love myself and know that I deserve better.

5. This one is especially for the women. Why do some people think that love will give them happiness and solve all their problems? There is a bigger chance you will experience that with alcohol than a human being. We're all a mess and going trough this thing called life with not much guidance. How can you expect another person that is just as lost as you to give you the solution to your problems on a platter?

Maybe this is the reason I'm still single, Ha ha...

MY GOVERNMENT IS CORRUPT, part 1

Our Government promised to help the people in Iceland about a year ago. The party we voted in promised to save our homes. That was their campaign slogan....
I know a man that can't afford to eat if he pays all his bills. I feel sorry for him, I really do. I've been there but didn't talk about it because I was in that situation long before the average Icelandic person was.

I found out last week that our congress was going to spend 8 million Icelandic kronur to renew the lights in our Parliament building?
I know a boy that sells stolen goods on the streets here in Iceland to get food. He's only twelve years old. He's a good kid and very intelligent. I guess better lighting in our Parliament building matters more than feeding our people in need?

Our Government preaches honesty and they are going to get to the bottom of this!
I know a lady that witnessed all the loan papers being torn up when the crash hit....All the papers with our politician names on it? There is a big majority of the Icelandic Parliament that got their loans deleted during the crash?

Rambling 012510

I decided to quit smoking today. I have actually been cutting down since January 1st. Yesterday I decided to start chewing nicotine gum and smoked my last cigarette this morning. I smoked an old stale cigarette to make sure I would not have a good memory of my last experience with this drug.

I've been smoking off and on since 1984 and I'm so sick of it. It's the most useless drug and it has started to slow me down when I swim or walk for a long time. I'm also not into the coughing which goes on in the mornings. THe last time I quit I started crying on day 2. I seriously hope I don't get all hormonal on my loved ones and cry for the next 3 days. For some reason I get very emotional in the withdrawals. I usually don't cry easily?

I can't fall asleep and THis is what my Head fEEls like at the moment.........

The True Story of Linda M.

In 1980, Linda M was the subject of a film about prostitution directed by Norma Bailey (Nose and Tina). 16 years later, Linda renews her relationship with the filmmaker and invites her back into her life. Now in rehab, Linda introduces her family and various boyfriends in a funny, sometimes upsetting, but always riveting account of her day-to-day life.

Flipping the World - Drugs Through a Blue Lens

Inspired by the hit documentary Through a Blue Lens, Flipping the World is an honest look at the world of youth and drug addiction, as told by those who have been there. Seven culturally diverse high school students meet with members of the Odd Squad – Vancouver police officers who, since 1998, have been filming people addicted to drugs. The students talk to the cops, then meet some young people in recovery and others struggling with drug addiction. An important discussion-starter, Flipping the World provides a wealth of teachable moments for educators and others who work with youth.

Through a Blue Lens

Constable Al Arsenault, along with six other policemen, document the people on their beat to create a powerful film about drug abuse. This group of officers developed a unique relationship with addicts in Vancouver's Downtown Eastside. In this documentary, drug addicts talk openly about how they got to the streets and send a powerful message of caution to others about the dangers of drug abuse.

Strange feeling

This is something I wrote 2004. I felt so strange reading this, kind of like it was somebody else who had written this. I really need to set my priorities straight and get this feeling back into my life.

What makes life beautiful?
I'm thinking about all the great things in life that make it so beautiful and worth living. I get depressed sometimes and have learned that the best way out of depression is to count your blessings, it's kind of like positive conditioning and it usually works.

-I know that when I wake up feeling down and hopeless it's just a moment in life that passes by, the only way is up some times.

-I have had so many life experiences that most people will only dream of.

-I have had the pleasure of having a few great friends that mean the world to me because they have given me what I needed when I felt like life had given up on me.

-I gave birth to the most beautiful child when I was 20 yrs. old and have had the opportunity to raise him on my own with good results, he's the kindest and smartest person I've met in this life.

-I live in a country where people don't have to worry about getting fed or proper medical attention, there is no real poverty in Iceland.

-I can feel and see the sun when I wake up in the morning and hear the beautiful birds singing by my window.

-when I feel all alone and cry on my pillow I have a wonderful cat that licks my tears away and listens with out judging; by the way I know he's the Buddha.

The Unemplyment Office

I've really had it with my country and have nothing to lose if I leave here. I started working recently and it's a 75% job, which means I still have rights to get 25% unemployment benefits. They mistakenly took me out of their computer system and I have to go do the paper work all over again. This is basically the same shit I had to deal with last fall and it was horrible. It took them 2 months to get my registration right and I finally got money on December 23rd. All of my bills went into a big minus then.

The energy and time that this takes isn't worth it. The system here is so screwed and they truly don't care about their people. It's really sad to watch my country turn into a heartless fascist like republic. There are kids here that can't afford to go to school this fall because their parents can't afford school supplies or lunch meals. In the mean time the men that got us into this mess are exporting all their money and property to the Cayman Islands. The government is doing nothing, they don't care?

I think this is the first time since the bank crash that I have truly lost all hope for what I've been protesting. I don't think the average Icelander is going to fight this corruption. In a way I feel like this isn't my country anymore; if it ever was?