I haven't slept at all and it's like 7 in the morning. I found out yesterday that I had screwed up all my paper work regarding my Company's invoices. I managed to make a document with a JavaScript that calculates all my hours, total pay and tax. It took me 3 hours to work out the programming but I finally got it. I feel like I have totally mismanaged my time in the past few months but sometimes life is about taking a few steps back to get ahead.
I feel so happy and content even though I've been working insane hours and not sleeping enough. I'm so incredibly happy that I'm making this dream come true, but I've felt like giving up twice a day since September. I'll get a panic attack and think I'm crazy for trying this out. It's better to take a chance than live with regret; I can't imagine growing old and having a bunch of dreams that I never had the courage to pursue.
My son is up and it's time to go eat some breakfast. I love the silence this early in the morning and the neurotic high of not having slept for 2 days.
2006 has totally blown my mind away. I've basically found out the truth about life and it has changed me. It actually makes me sad to think that most people never question their authority or do their own research when they see something wrong in this world.
I met a homeless person on the Lower East Side a few days ago and I've been tempted to join his way of life. I spent some time with him and felt something inside of my heart open up. Why do we judge people for what they own? This person gave me so much more than most people in my daily life; he shared his wisdom and was grateful. The truth I've been searching for since I was a kid is getting closer to me.
I ended up photographing a few other homeless people and some interesting people and places in the Village. New York has changed a lot but spending 2 days in the city with a camera uncovered what I always miss about the place. You can meet strangers in the park and listen to someone play the guitar and before you know it, it feels like home.
Anyway, I'm going back to my insane work schedule in a week. I happen to have the best son on the planet, which makes all this working and struggling more than worth it. He takes computers apart and puts them back together; he's only 15? He's going places with good and honest intentions.
- A picture of my homeless friend called Ninja Art. I bought him a cup of coffee and he gave me some drawings and a book about The Diamond Sutra.
