In reality, they don’t give a s%*t if we starve...

My reality as I've known it is gone. I grew up believing that everyone in Iceland was pretty much equal and no one had to starve. Since October 6th I've come to realize that I was in a rich family that used this psychological thought to escape the reality of what has been going on in our society for ages.

I walked into a soup kitchen yesterday in the hopes of getting some food to survive this month. I don't get unemployment until December 1st and I'm too proud to go begging to my parents. I also don't believe in borrowing money from friends; it's hard to pay back and can ruin the friendship.

I was number 64 in line and felt shocked as the lady handed me the ticket. The place wasn't going to open until 3:00 and it was only 2:30. I kept thinking that this is the lowest I've had to go in life. I recalled my abusive relationship from the past and felt grateful for my freedom. After 10 minutes of sitting in a crowded room an old man sat next to me. He had neat clothes on and his skin looked very healthy. I looked into his eyes and saw the despair and hopelessness. This guy was like my grandfather but he was in a soup kitchen? Can it be that my society doesn't give a s%*t if someone starves? Can it be that I've been raised in complete fascism that taught us to judge poor people instead of helping them?

I sat there for an hour and a half and felt shock, despair, anger, and most of all grateful. The least of my worries is a lack of money; the biggest is being alone like that man. I finally got some food in a bag and heard number 163 being called out as I left. As I walked back home I held back my painful cry. I opened the door and my son was home from school. I was so thankful for my life and hugged him. I cooked a good dinner for us and kept the same pace for the home. I realized that a lack of money can't rune us but loneliness can.

The reason I had to resort to this soup kitchen is because my government won't give me welfare until December 1st (the day I get unemployment). I went over the 90.000 kronur a month limit in income. I asked them at the welfare office; "Who in Iceland has that low of an income?" No one has and this rule is helping my fascist country keep the fake reality of thinking they're so good and kind to its people. In reality, they don't give a s%*t if we starve.