I've been really tired this week and get this feeling that I don't really want to do websites for too much longer. There have been certain situations and a deep profound feeling in my heart that keeps tapping on my shoulder. That's the only way I can explain this, I can't put my finger on it exactly. I feel peaceful with this though, everything I've done is leading me into another adventure in life.
I can say with so much gratefulness that the 12 step program has saved my life and changed me as a human being. Finding out what a screwed up individual I had become was so painful but it's showing me depths of my character that I didn't even know were there. I feel like a child when I wake up to a new day, the tainted girl inside of me is fading away.
I played chess with a male friend of mine last night. The last time I managed to play an honest game of chess was around 1988. I grew up with that game around me but had totally forgotten how to enjoy it. It was great, even though he beat me. It was just great being normal with an intelligent man and playing chess. Talking about nicotine receptors in our brains and how they multiply is also very intriguing.
The simplest things are what make this life perfect, I had totally lost connection with that secret :-)
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