Rambling 020510

My thoughts about love might sound a bit extreme but I've always been a bit extreme. Here it goes....

1. Saying I love you doesn't mean much in the long run. My step-dad always told me that people that do a lot of talking usually don't do much action when it comes down to it. So why do men think that saying I love you is supposed to make us melt inside? I find it much more appealing when people show their love through action.

2. A man that I was dating recently insinuated that there was something wrong with me because I've chosen to be single most of my adult life? I pointed out to him that I enjoy my own company and would rather be alone than living with a man I can't stand. Society seems to pound into women's heads that there is something wrong with them if they're single. We're not complete unless we have a man by our side? So far, this incomplete woman is doing fine ;-)

3. Being honest about sex is taboo. Okay, do you want to be doing something for someone and finding out later that they got no pleasure from it? I think honesty is a way to connect with people. We all have different experiences in life and can teach each other so much. Where would we be if we weren't willing to learn and try something new?

4. Even if I'm in love doesn't mean I'm willing to sacrifice my self-being and respect. Come on, does anyone still believe in those romance novels and the stereo typical thought of "Stand by your man". If you hit me or abuse me in anyway I will most likely lose interest in you because you have crossed a boundary which there is no way of erasing or turning back. Because I leave you doesn't mean I didn't love you, it means that I also love myself and know that I deserve better.

5. This one is especially for the women. Why do some people think that love will give them happiness and solve all their problems? There is a bigger chance you will experience that with alcohol than a human being. We're all a mess and going trough this thing called life with not much guidance. How can you expect another person that is just as lost as you to give you the solution to your problems on a platter?

Maybe this is the reason I'm still single, Ha ha...

MY GOVERNMENT IS CORRUPT, part 1

Our Government promised to help the people in Iceland about a year ago. The party we voted in promised to save our homes. That was their campaign slogan....
I know a man that can't afford to eat if he pays all his bills. I feel sorry for him, I really do. I've been there but didn't talk about it because I was in that situation long before the average Icelandic person was.

I found out last week that our congress was going to spend 8 million Icelandic kronur to renew the lights in our Parliament building?
I know a boy that sells stolen goods on the streets here in Iceland to get food. He's only twelve years old. He's a good kid and very intelligent. I guess better lighting in our Parliament building matters more than feeding our people in need?

Our Government preaches honesty and they are going to get to the bottom of this!
I know a lady that witnessed all the loan papers being torn up when the crash hit....All the papers with our politician names on it? There is a big majority of the Icelandic Parliament that got their loans deleted during the crash?

Rambling 012510

I decided to quit smoking today. I have actually been cutting down since January 1st. Yesterday I decided to start chewing nicotine gum and smoked my last cigarette this morning. I smoked an old stale cigarette to make sure I would not have a good memory of my last experience with this drug.

I've been smoking off and on since 1984 and I'm so sick of it. It's the most useless drug and it has started to slow me down when I swim or walk for a long time. I'm also not into the coughing which goes on in the mornings. THe last time I quit I started crying on day 2. I seriously hope I don't get all hormonal on my loved ones and cry for the next 3 days. For some reason I get very emotional in the withdrawals. I usually don't cry easily?

I can't fall asleep and THis is what my Head fEEls like at the moment.........

The True Story of Linda M.

In 1980, Linda M was the subject of a film about prostitution directed by Norma Bailey (Nose and Tina). 16 years later, Linda renews her relationship with the filmmaker and invites her back into her life. Now in rehab, Linda introduces her family and various boyfriends in a funny, sometimes upsetting, but always riveting account of her day-to-day life.

Flipping the World - Drugs Through a Blue Lens

Inspired by the hit documentary Through a Blue Lens, Flipping the World is an honest look at the world of youth and drug addiction, as told by those who have been there. Seven culturally diverse high school students meet with members of the Odd Squad – Vancouver police officers who, since 1998, have been filming people addicted to drugs. The students talk to the cops, then meet some young people in recovery and others struggling with drug addiction. An important discussion-starter, Flipping the World provides a wealth of teachable moments for educators and others who work with youth.

Through a Blue Lens

Constable Al Arsenault, along with six other policemen, document the people on their beat to create a powerful film about drug abuse. This group of officers developed a unique relationship with addicts in Vancouver's Downtown Eastside. In this documentary, drug addicts talk openly about how they got to the streets and send a powerful message of caution to others about the dangers of drug abuse.

Strange feeling

This is something I wrote 2004. I felt so strange reading this, kind of like it was somebody else who had written this. I really need to set my priorities straight and get this feeling back into my life.

What makes life beautiful?
I'm thinking about all the great things in life that make it so beautiful and worth living. I get depressed sometimes and have learned that the best way out of depression is to count your blessings, it's kind of like positive conditioning and it usually works.

-I know that when I wake up feeling down and hopeless it's just a moment in life that passes by, the only way is up some times.

-I have had so many life experiences that most people will only dream of.

-I have had the pleasure of having a few great friends that mean the world to me because they have given me what I needed when I felt like life had given up on me.

-I gave birth to the most beautiful child when I was 20 yrs. old and have had the opportunity to raise him on my own with good results, he's the kindest and smartest person I've met in this life.

-I live in a country where people don't have to worry about getting fed or proper medical attention, there is no real poverty in Iceland.

-I can feel and see the sun when I wake up in the morning and hear the beautiful birds singing by my window.

-when I feel all alone and cry on my pillow I have a wonderful cat that licks my tears away and listens with out judging; by the way I know he's the Buddha.

The Unemplyment Office

I've really had it with my country and have nothing to lose if I leave here. I started working recently and it's a 75% job, which means I still have rights to get 25% unemployment benefits. They mistakenly took me out of their computer system and I have to go do the paper work all over again. This is basically the same shit I had to deal with last fall and it was horrible. It took them 2 months to get my registration right and I finally got money on December 23rd. All of my bills went into a big minus then.

The energy and time that this takes isn't worth it. The system here is so screwed and they truly don't care about their people. It's really sad to watch my country turn into a heartless fascist like republic. There are kids here that can't afford to go to school this fall because their parents can't afford school supplies or lunch meals. In the mean time the men that got us into this mess are exporting all their money and property to the Cayman Islands. The government is doing nothing, they don't care?

I think this is the first time since the bank crash that I have truly lost all hope for what I've been protesting. I don't think the average Icelander is going to fight this corruption. In a way I feel like this isn't my country anymore; if it ever was?

Update on what's been going on in Iceland

A few of my American friends have been wondering about the situation here in Iceland. Things haven't gotten better, most of what the new ruling party promised hasn't been happening. Instead they are going against what they promised. At the moment they are deciding if they're going to take on the Icesave bank and the majority wants to. If we take on the Icesave bank we're basically accepting the terrorist laws the British put on us. They don't want to charge the British for putting us on the terrorist list, instead they want to kiss their ass and make us pay for the Icesave bank dept. Here is a link to the freezing order on the British HT Treasury website: http://www.hm-treasury.gov.uk/fin_sanctions_landsbanki.htm
(We were taken off the terrorist list but are still on their website. Note: this bank was privately owned before the collapse).

In the mean time the criminals that created all these companies and banks are running around and hiding their money on the Cayman Islands or putting their properties on a relative's name. Not one of them has been charged and non of their accounts have been frozen??? The word on the street is that these men have paid our politicians in the past and these politicians are all corrupt with their money.

We got Eva Joly to investigate what happened before the banks collapsed. They're giving her a hard time and making her job very difficult.
About Eva Joly: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eva_Joly

In the mean time people are losing their homes and some are even leaving Iceland for good. I know a single mother that doesn't get any money because she was a student this winter and can't get daycare for her kids. So my wonderful government told her she isn't eligible for welfare or unemployment. Nice, they're putting their own people out on the street with no assistance. Why do we even pay 37% in taxes here?

Anyway, I protest as much as I can. A few of us took over an empty house on Monday owned by one of the criminals here and the police were called.

Some people have asked me why I keep protesting. I'm always remind of this saying which I ran across while I was writing an essay in High school about the Holocaust in WW II:

In Germany they first came for the Communists,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist.
Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew.
Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Catholics,
and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant.
Then they came for me —
and by that time no one was left to speak up.
- Martin Niemöller

Life is what you make it

A few of my friends and relatives in the States have been really worried about my son and me since the economy and government collapse in my country. I have been numb in a way and haven't really had a longing to write much about it.

I've been running my own freelance business since December 2006. According to my financial adviser and the entrepreneur corporation in Iceland I was doing good. I loved what I was doing and woke up everyday with excitement and challenges in my day. I had something to look forward to each day and I have a great son that is doing good in life. I never lived a life which was extravagant and have a home which is creative and strange; not in style. I'm so far from being the wanna be rich looking person which were were popping up all over Iceland. I paid my taxes honestly and received unemployment when there was no work to find in my field this fall.

My father (which raised me from the time I was 18 months old) always told me that if you want something you have to dig in the dirt. If you don't find it you have to dig harder. He could have spoiled us and given us many material things. He chose not to. Instead he taught us that if you want something you have to work for it. I passed this on to my son and feel so grateful. At times I felt like a selfish evil mom when all the other kids in the neighborhood got the newest PlayStation just because they asked for it. My son started saving his money when he was 11 and ended up buying the PlayStation when he was 12. I think that my dad gave me something I could never have bought or learned in school. It's the real experience and reward of digging in the dirt and seeing the rewards when you're done.

Don't worry about us, we're just as happy even though the cost of living is ridiculous. I still lay around like a cat reading too many books. My son is still living his teenage life and just bought his first car. I found some ladies recently that take old clothes and modify them. So maybe I don't have to buy new clothes, I'll learn how to modify or make my own?

Life is what you make it my friend ;-)