Bukowski - "The Strongest of the Strange"

The Camps: Palestinian Refugees in Lebanon

Part I


Part II

I want to be like the Buddha and start living

People that make new years resolutions have always gotten on my nerves. I might be one of those annoying people this year, something got me thinking yesterday.

I was reading the Total Jim’s updated profile last night and a sentence on there struck me: "The thing that I call living is just being satisfied with knowing I’ve got no one left to blame..."

I woke up today and started thinking about the meaning behind those words. It’s very common for us to blame others and justify our dysfunctional behavior because someone has held us back or treated us badly. The blame list can be endless; parents, friends, classmates, doctors, governments, partner, pets, the climate, the bank, etc. Anyway, my new years resolution is to get rid of all blame and become the person I was meant to be. It might sound cliché, but the truth is it’s what I want. Why let someone that pisses you off live in your head rent free? Also, why let someone that tries to hold you back affect your decisions in life?

Imagine if we could hold up a state of mind which the Buddha acquired; how different our waking up in the mornings would be. Yeah, I want to be like the Buddha and start living.

Blue Bird

by: Charles Bukowski

There's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say, stay in there, I'm not going
to let anybody see
you.

There's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I pour whiskey on him and inhale
cigarette smoke
and the whores and the bartenders
and the grocery clerks
never know that
he's in there.

There's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say,
stay down, do you want to mess me up?
You want to screw up the works?
You want to blow my book sales in Europe?

There's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too clever, I only let him out
at night sometimes
when everybody's asleep.
I say, I know that you're there,
so don't be
sad.

Then I put him back,
but he's singing a little
in there, I haven't quite let him
die,
and we sleep together like
that
with our
secret pact,
and it's nice enough to
make a man
weep, but I don't
weep, do
you?

In The Shadow of Feeling

A documentary film that explores the factors that determine how children become adult psychopaths. Very interesting points of view and how the development of the brain in early childhood might be a dominating cause.

The main story centers around a boy named "Johnathan" who is currently serving a life sentence for first degree murder.

Is this my heritage?

I got home late tonight and checked my e-mail, there was a link from my step mom to some old book that was being published again here in Iceland. Anyway, the link was to protest the book. I don't recall reading this book as a kid but I remember the song being sung in school. I found some blogs about the book and was completely shocked, it's a book translated from English and the name of it is "Ten Little Niggers". WTF, and people are calling this book a work of art and republishing it is holding on to our history and culture. I DON'T THINK SO! (Even thought the Icelandic translation isn't as cruel as the English version, it's the fact that this book has a racist history and it is not something you market as a children's book).

The fact that my society is accepting this book and it might be read to kids makes me feel sick. Is this really my heritage? I feel like my country's mentality is similar to a sad little ignorant Ku Klux Klan town in the South; except we're close to the arctic and have nicer homes.

This is the text which is in the book....

Ten little nigger boys went out to dine;

One choked his little self and then there were Nine.

Nine little nigger boys sat up very late;

One overslept himself and then there were Eight.

Eight little nigger boys traveling in Devon;

One said he'd stay there and then there were Seven.

Seven little nigger boys chopping up sticks;

One chopped himself in halves and then there were Six.

Six little nigger boys playing with a hive;

A bumble bee stung one and then there were Five.

Five little nigger boys going in for law;

One got into Chancery and then there were Four.

Four little nigger boys going out to sea;

A red herring swallowed one and then there were Three.

Three little nigger boys walking in the Zoo;

A big bear hugged one and then there were Two.

Two little nigger boys sitting in the sun;

One got frizzled up and then there was One.

One little nigger boy left all alone;

He went out and hanged himself and then there were None.

Never, never, never, never give up

Never, never, never, never give up
- Winston Churchill

I've been so busy but I'm extremely happy. All the hard work I've put into my business is paying off. I went and met with an advertising agency today that has really big clients. They want to start doing assignments with me and were really impressed with my websites. I'm sitting here at home and this doesn't feel real. I'm so glad I didn't give up on this dream, there have been so many times in the past year where I was about to call it quits. Something in my heart kept telling me to go on and I'm glad I listened.

We have a new family member, his name Timon. We went to the animal rescue and couldn't resist him. He kept licking our face and didn't want to be put back on the floor. Snoopy was jealous for about a week and started pissing on blankets and stuff. It took alot of work and discipline but he stopped pissing finally. Anyway, they're good friends now and have the greatest personalities.

God, am I becoming a cat lady???

George Bush is an Inarticulate Idiot

Reading and Working

I've been finishing a Real Estate website this week. I have to say that this has been the most complicated project I've taken on since I did the intranet layout for the U.S. Navy in 2003. All the information is put in instantly so I had to work out the design with a programmer at a company that hosts most of the real estate information here in Iceland. I had to think of everything in CSS mode and try to imagine how it would look when the website had the Real Estate information coming on the main page. Anyway, I've learned so much this week and can't wait until we put the finishing touches to the website.

Anyway, all this work is not good. I'm being lazy today and reading a great book which I haven't had time to read, Anna Karenina by: Leo Tolstoy. I usually don't get into these mushy kind of love stories but this book is beautifully written. He describes our human nature so well, it almost makes me want to fall in love; ALMOST :-)

My son is so happy in his new school. He's learning how to use all the fun computer related programs this semester; Photoshop and Dreamweaver. He's a really good designer, he made some great web headers for a project. Anyway, if he doesn't like his computer major he can always come work for me. I just can't believe how much he has grown up, it feels like yesterday when he was running around in his diapers.

ROFL and more ROFL

If you're feeling down check out these videos. These are the funniest videos I've seen this year. I promise you'll get into a better mood when you watch these :-)